I wash myself with a rag on a stick.

An article about a group called Michigan Lawsuit abuse watch has awarded their "Wackiest Product Warning Label" to:

A flushable toilet brush that warns users, “Do not use for personal hygiene”

I think prior year's top picks were better...

The winning label in M-LAW's Sixth Annual Wacky Warning Label contest was found on a popular robotic massage chair featuring "Human Touch Technology." The label cautions users: "Do not use massage chair without clothing... and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving. " The second place label was found by James Haslem of North Royalton, Ohio on a snowblower which warns: "Do not use snowthrower on roof." Third place goes to Jeffrey Edmondson of New York, New York who found the following kitchen label: "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher."