Man with too much time on his hands

LONDON (AFP) - A British man is giving a whole new meaning to begging to be loved as he set off on a 55-mile (88.5 kilometres) crawl on his hands and knees to find a partner.

With a sign saying "Could you Love Me?" strapped to his back and 18 boxes of chocolates trailing behind him on string tied to his wrists and ankles, Mark McGowan began his unusual quest to find a girlfriend.

Must be tired of the bar scene.

His route will take him from the site of the Tabard Inn, in Southwark, south London, to Canterbury Cathedral, following the pilgrims' trail made famous in 14th century author Geoffrey Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales".

Little known fact that Chaucer intended to finish with "The Idiot's Tale."

The 37-year-old performance artist, who said he is also hoping to raise awareness of people left lonely and isolated during the festive period, is hoping to complete the back-breaking task within 30 days.

"I can remember one Christmas I wasn't in a relationship and didn't want to spend it with my family. I ended up cooking two fish fingers. I'm sure a lot of people have had that experience," he said during a well-earned break en-route.

No, I'm sure most people with family will spend the holiday with them instead of choosing to be at home, miserable, cooking frozen fish. Dumbass.

"Some people can spend Christmas in utter desperation and misery and find it difficult to cope with. I hope this encourages people to maybe invite someone over."

Your crawling will surely open their eyes.

McGowan, from Peckham, south London, is no stranger to bizarre stunts or being so close to the tarmac: in 2003 he spent two weeks rolling a monkey nut with his nose seven miles to Downing Street to protest against student debt.

I hope a monkey nut is actually, you know, a nut.

Earlier this year he attempted to cartwheel 57 miles from Brighton to London to highlight the problem of people taking stones from beaches to decorate their gardens. He was forced to give up with a twisted back after four days.

I hope they used the stones to hurl at him instead.

And in 2002, he rolled across London singing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" in an attempt to get people to be nicer to cleaners.

Good lord.

On May 5 this year -- polling day for Britain's general election -- he planted 100,000 kisses on a laminated picture of Prime Minister Tony Blair.

This guy is lonely? You don't say.

McGowan is single.

I can't imagine why.