Nice Stretch

Magog's favorite sports columnist, Jay The Joke, on last night's Flubs game:

There was Soriano, steaming around second base and streaking hotter than the evening itself, trying to reach third as would any leadoff hitter worth a fat fortune. But then you saw his teeth, locked in a pained grimace. Then he started to hop on one leg, like a human pogo stick. Finally, he stumbled to the ground in agony.

Um, I don't know what game Jay was watching, but Soriano didn't "stumble to the ground in agony." He clearly pulled up short of third base favoring his right leg, reached down and clutched his lower thigh above the knee. Crumpling to the ground might add dramatic effect for Jay, but it ain't true.